Mountaintop Mindset in a Valley Season

Life Isn't About Waiting for The Storm to Pass, its About Learning How to Dance in The rain... - Vivian Greene

The end of the year can be a challenging time for many people. Winter months are for slowing down: more darkness, hibernation, death of plants preparing for new life, harsher temperatures, and inclement weather. However, out of all of nature, humans still need to receive the memo about doing less to restore energy and motivation. It's a time of utilizing remaining quarterly budgets, gift shopping, higher heat bills, organizing holiday travel plans, creating vision boards and resolutions, and praying that the awaiting year will bring less hardship.

So, how does a person stay optimistic when not feeling filled with the holiday spirit? Consider a few scenarios, maybe this is a year where you recognize you are not where you want to be professionally. Or perhaps you long for another member of your family, maybe a partner or a child, and its causing distraction. You may miss geographic closeness with a community and recognize that your dearest friends are miles and miles away. This may be a familiar time of year you dread due to Seasonal Affective Disorder and symptoms of depression. You may relate to the person who notices their peers have ample time off for a holiday break while you find yourself clocking in extra shifts or a part-time role in addition to your full-time to have the financial stability you desire. For those with financial anxiety, this time of year can feel debilitating while simultaneously trying to create holiday magic for others or yourself. Holidays reveal voids created by grief from the loss of loved ones who are missing at the table. It can also exacerbate interpersonal conflicts due to loud silence of estrangement or forced interactions that feel fake. Internal conflict may arise for those who are struggling with their physical wellness journey and navigating interaction with holiday treats, substances, and various festivities that challenge mindful eating.

A part of you could feel like something is off, and your emotions aren't catching up to your intellectual thoughts of wanting to feel okay and satisfied. Feelings of unrest are inevitable when considering the state of the world while trying to manage daily trials as an individual; scaling from trivial annoyances to self-preservation in dire circumstances. Our survival is dependent on protecting our minds.

You are not alone if you relate to one of the above hypotheticals. This season makes for complex cocktails of feelings, craving the nostalgia of childhood excitement while facing the realities of adulthood. End-of-the-year reflection reveals what people are holding onto and how they cope with what has their grip. Release what has you in a stronghold by recentering with what's in your control. This post is not to negate suffering or eliminate it entirely, instead its meant to help perspective to keep pushing forward.

Here are a few ideas for shifting your mindset when experiencing seasonal affective disorder/ winter lows:

• Create an Overcomers List: construct a list of things in your life that you felt would overtake you that you alternatively overcame. Nothing is too trivial; use examples like when you passed your undergraduate economics final exam or paid off a credit card from which you feared you'd drown in debt. Make sure the list is accessible, like your phone notes section so that you can reference the resource anytime.

• Letting Go Exercises: This allows adults to use more playful parts of their minds to process trauma. You can also use it with young children. Using your imagination, create a symbolic representation of what you hope to let go of in 2024. You can either write or draw; be as descriptive as possible. You can write a poem or design a comic strip/ painting. For instance, consider drawing a giant purple creature and how it represents something you have been holding. The beast may signify self-sabotage, self-doubt, or impulsive behavior patterns from the year. Detail how you interact with this creature, how it impacted your year, and how you'd like to say goodbye to it. Tangibly envision yourself letting go compassionately. Work to not judge yourself for what you are releasing and for any grief that may come up. Whether the creature symbolizes a person, place, or thing that did not healthily serve you, consider what ritual, practice, or activity would assist you in parting ways with your symbolic figure. How will you acknowledge and affirm any emotions experienced by the void of its absence? Be creative as possible. The ability to shapeshift a problem in your mind supports how you interact with it, aiding the decrease of intimidation and helplessness.

• Investigative Positive Journalist: If you identify as a catastrophic thinker who finds themselves researching worst-case scenarios, go on a mission to find unique outcomes. For instance, when my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, I looked up all stories of survival and remission to help cope with that season of life. Though I didn't know the outcome, I wanted to borrow hope from survivors' narratives. I am fortunate that my father is a cancer survivor in remission in the present day. This activity is not to compare experiences or guarantee solutions but to highlight the concept that there are a variety of outcomes, and spiraling through doomed possibilities is not the only option. Set boundaries and parameters for yourself, even good news can send people down a rabbit hole. A part-two to this exercise is writing out a your own envisioned positive outcome.

• Running towards exercises: Write about or speak to a trusted support about something you want to run towards in the New Year. An example of this is something that "you get to do" rather than "have to do." Feeling creative? Draw a silhouette of a runner holding a baton. (1) Draw an arrow by the shoes and write what would ground you in moving towards what you desire. (2) Then, select your clothing brand. Just like runners would purchase athletic wear from Nike or Adidas, write your sponsors on the clothing. For example, if you are running towards entrepreneurship, write words of importance on the clothing- childhood dreams, mentorship, generational wealth, legacy, representation, calling, purpose, freedom, leadership, etc. (3) Next, label the baton with what impact you hope this desire will have on the world around you- trailblazer, breaking generational curses, improve my city/neighborhood, etc. (4) Lastly with an arrow by the runner's heads, write out the thought patterns needed to keep endurance and stamina to win the race- at the core I know I was made for this, if I am remembered for nothing else...I hope to be known for this, I owe it to my children to try. 

A changed mindset comes from practice. Start by utilizing affirming self-talk; enact compassion towards yourself as though you are conversing with a relationship in your life that you highly regard, like a best friend you never want to lose. Consider how sacred a treasured relationship is and how you'll do anything to uphold that person's trust, integrity, and personhood. Explore holding yourself accountable lovingly. Prioritize relationships congruent with your preferred story, those who will add to the resilience dialogue. These tools will help rewire the brain to view the self as someone to protect rather than persecute. Thinking in a new way does not mean life's circumstances won't be challenging. However, it can help remove the added weighted baggage that is self-imposed by our minds in the midst of the journey. Learning to reduce your worry weakens the force of the problem, no matter the season.

When jaded by the lenses of pessimism and sadness, try an alternative prescription.. gift yourself some grace, it'll change your vision.